Hello,

this is the beginning of my (?) digital diary. I'm not so sure on what to call it, but that'll work for now. I don't really expect anyone to read this, so this will probably just be a boring ramble about whatever is on my mind at the moment.





Thrift Store Finds



I've already posted this to my Tumblr, but I found these at my local thrift store today! I genuinely let out a gasp at the find of Rachel's Tears; I've been looking for this book for so long. I've read her diary before, but I like having a physical copy of the book more, it makes it feel special. My mom looked concerned whenever she saw it in my hand, she always does that. I get a bit nervous that she's scared of me. She acts like she is sometimes. It upsets me because she has no reason to be scared, I've never done anything 'scare worthy' before, being interested in true crime is the equivalent to stabbing a man in her mind. Same goes for my grandma, she asked me a few weeks ago if I was planning on "doing a Columbine".. No. No, I am not, grandma.



It's currently 12:57 AM as I type this (6/25/26). My family is asleep in the room beside me and I'm anxious about the thought of them hearing the keys click. I hope they can't hear this. If they can, sorry to my mom and brother, my Tumblr diary is more important than your sleep. I meant to start this a couple weeks ago, but I ended up getting busy with a different project. Then, I saw one of my mutuals (@46und2) post about his updated website and decided to start on this before I lose motivation again. Thank you, Murt. Speaking of mutuals, I get incredibly nervous whenever I think about them. I feel like I constantly over-interact with all of them, especially a certain few. They don't seem like they mind, but then again, they're typing a response through a screen miles away. Why should I trust that they don't care? They definitely do. Sorry to my mutuals. Anyways, I won't get into a tangent about my anxiousness regarding my followers. I'm still not done with the website as of right now, it needs some updating. It's too bland but also too overwhelming, something's wrong.



I'm also on 'vacation' at the moment, that's why I've been able to post so many hauls. My mom likes to call this vacation, but it's really just dog-sitting a few hours away from home. I'm staying at my aunts who lives around 6 hours away from me. The road-trip was fine at the beginning, then my mom got into a mood. I can only assume you know what that means (she started to get pissed off with everyone and everything, making it everyone else's problem). We all ended up arriving to the house while on "silent car mode" she called it. I feel like I always speak negatively of my family on Tumblr, but that's usually a spur of the moment post. I love my family; they can just be so much sometimes. Just referring to my mom and brother at least, the rest of my family is a different story. They're ALWAYS too much. It's always been me, my mom, and my brother. Nobody else. I won't get into it because I realized I'm already oversharing and should stop typing. I do this constantly. I'll start to talk about one thing, then the next, and the next... and the next... and the next, etc. I never stop; I should really shut up sometimes. I talk to the same three people (my mom, my therapist, and myself) and I can tell that they're all tired of hearing me ramble. I didn't do this as a child. Well, I didn't really speak at all as a child, so maybe I shouldn't compare the two.



Changing the topic back to my thrift finds, I also found these two pocket knives.

Location: Grandpa's Attic





Thank you, grandpa. They're pretty dull, honestly. I like the design on the one on the left. It came with a nice case too.



I'll stop here for now. I'll most likely update this again later this night. Thank you to whoever reads this, if anyone does